Finding balance

I am attending the 2008 Congress here in Vancouver and have just completed a pre-conference workshop for new scholars. It was somewhat interesting. There was a panel of 4 scholars talking about finding balance. I don't think the workshop was for me really, I think it was more geared towards new profs. So that makes me believe that the words "new scholar" should be defined. When do you become a scholar? When you publish? Am I a new scholar? when you have obtained your PhD? Anyway, I thought it was for grad students and although many of the attendees were grad students, the questions posed were mainly about beginning profs and the advice given by senior profs. The big point of advice was creating that sense of community amongst profs and finding a place for you, seeking out people who can support and work with and for you. One thing, from all 4 panels that I did not get is: balance. Yeah yeah, good advice, but how do you balance it all. Is saying "no" really the answer? Or you giving up opportunities? Which opportunities should you say no too? It seems to me, from listening to these panels that it all depends on you. So if it is all personal, shouldn't we just go for it and perhaps we get burnt perhaps we have success? It was all a bit confusing. It seems to me that all 4 brought very different experiences to the table and that there is no right or wrong answer to live and work successfully in academia. Now, that is a statement: live and work successfully!
I want to know how you can do that. In fact, live and work successfully may be defined very differently from one person to the next, so how can we even decide on that course before we embark? I should therefore just look inside myself and figure out what I want in life and what living and working successfully is to me.
Yet, it is not that simple as rules and regulation and the hierarchy in universities may encourage or hinder that success. That is what is new to me. I think by explaining what I want in life and work personally and than find a program/university to fit that life style will be a vital choice in my future. I don't believe it should be the other way: that you must change depending on the university you decide to teach in. I don't know if I am completely crazy thinking this way but that is what I think I would like to do.
I want to live and work in a smaller community that has a small or medium size university or teachers' college. I also need to be close to nature and I must be able to explore nature in person, meaning I need to be able to go outside and be active outdoors. I would want to live in a safe community that values activity and health and it would be great to have a community where I can ride my bike safely, just as I did in Europe. I want to be able to raise children in that community and want them to go to good schools that instill the same values that I will at home.
As for my work, I want to be able to teach teachers and do action research within teacher education. I also would like strong partnerships with the schools as I want to focus in on the transition into the teaching profession and how to smooth that transition through closer collaboration between universities and schools. Oh and I would like a few lakes and mountains. haha
I know I can find that, I have yet to look for it as it is a ways off but one day I will. Most importantly is that for me, it is not important to become a "big" (whatever that means) "scholar", but I want to be a "valued" "teacher" for teachers.
That being said, I must get back to my thesis or else that dream above will never become a reality!